Estate Planning Documents for Your ‘Adult’ Child

While we may know better, an 18-year-old is generally considered an adult under New York law. Many of those 18-year-olds will be heading off to college in the next couple of months. Parents’ rights to make decisions for their children change suddenly when they become 18. Parents no longer have complete access to their child’s financial, education and health records, even if they’re still paying the bills.

Since parents are often called upon to make important financial and/or health decisions for their children, it’s important to establish the parents’ legal authority to do so ahead of time. This  authority is created by putting a health care proxy and a power of attorney in place for your children once they turn 18. In certain circumstances, preparation of a will should also be considered.

Young adults should sign a health care proxy appointing a parent or other trusted adult to make medical decisions for them, if necessary. A health care proxy should include privacy (HIPAA) language, enabling the doctor to disclose medical information to the parent. For example, if your child is in a hospital and unable to speak for himself or herself, you want to be able to obtain information about the circumstances that brought your child to the hospital, including substances they may have ingested. Putting that information together with historical knowledge that you have may save your child’s life.

Young adults should also sign a durable power of attorney, appointing a parent or other trusted adult to act as agent for them in a variety of legal and financial matters in the event of the young adults’ mental or physical incapacity. For example, if an adult child is unable to sign certain legal documents (e.g., a lease), or personally handle finances (e.g., making investment decisions for his or her account), the parent would be able to sign these documents and handle financial matters on behalf of their adult child.

If the adult child is lucky enough to have substantial assets at age 18, he or she should have a will to direct where those assets should go if the child should die. Under New York law, if someone dies leaving only parents (no spouse or children), the parents get the child’s assets. Of course, this could destroy a parent’s well thought-out estate plan by adding taxable assets to the parent’s estate.

This article appeared in the June 2025 issue of Stroll Lloyd Harbor.